I Miss Concerts
Siames is playing in my city this month and I can't find anyone to go with.
I really miss going to concerts. I think when I was a teenager, I went to a couple of like, big shows: Ozzfest twice, comes to mind. But, when I was in my 20s, one of my closest friends and I used to go down to the city to see sort of niche/obscure bands. Big if you know the name, but outside of those circles, less so. Anamanaguchi and Mystery Skulls are forefront of my mind there. And that shit was so much fun.
I think a lot of it revolved around a few things: my friend and I were in our 20s and underemployed, working jobs we knew weren't going to be for the rest of our lives and we were the only ones from our friend group left living in the suburbs--our best friends had primarily moved into the city. So, going to the city to see a show was a cool outing and it was a time we got to spend together and bond. It was so much fun and one of the emblematic experiences of my early 20s.
COVID aside, graduate school and her moving to the city sort of changed the nature of anything like that. If I wanted to go to a show with her, I'd have to head down to the city alone and meet up with her. And that was fine, but it's nothing like driving down to the city with a friend and coming back late, both of you trying to maintain energy to get home after coming down from the hype of the show. I've gone to shows alone, but it's just not the same experience at all. I miss it.
And, perhaps more to the point, I miss my friend. She decided a few years ago to end our friendship. I have my suspicions about why, I'll never know; She just ghosted me. Like, just stopped talking to me altogether. And I guess that's her choice. But I miss her. I miss my friend and I miss going to shows and shit with her. I know that this show is one I could've pretty easily talked her into going to. But, she doesn't talk to me anymore and my other friends are busy working real jobs and being generally more busy and active people than I am.
I'm definitely scratching at something deeper here, I think, but I'll cut it here.