I hate driving
So, I started up a second teaching job this semester. Which has been great because it means I don’t have to work at Staples and I’m slightly more comfortable financially. But, because of my circumstances, that’s meant I’m driving A LOT more. Like, conservatively 2 and half hours, two days a week. Now, in the grand scheme of things, that’s not a whole lot of time. But it’s also not nothing.
It’s no secret if you know me that I hate driving. I really do. If I thought I could cut driving out of my life entirely, I would. Sadly, I live in the Midwest USA so that’s pretty unlikely, at least until I move into the city. But, I think what’s frustrating is it just really feels like it fucking eats my time. Like, the endless chase for productivity be damned, driving for up to 3 hours a fucking day sucks and it really feels like wasted time. And I’m no stranger to longer drives—I used to do a 6+ hour drive several times a year (i'm so fucking happy those days are over, holy shit. I might cry if I think too hard about it) but it's different when you're doing it every other day.
But, Rose, what would you do instead? Well, see, 2 days a week, I teach at a different school and to get there, I take the train and I read, I play video games, I snooze on the train. It can be its own hell but god, at least I can feel okay about it and I don’t have to be the one Locked In. With driving, I have to be locked in and paying attention what I and other drivers are doing. And I’m not sure if you know this, there’s a lot of bad drivers out there, so I have be sure that I’m paying attention to those other drivers lest we both get fucked. I don’t want nor could I afford to be involved in some kind of collision. Hell, I had a scare the day I started working on this and even that was more than I want.
This sucks. It sucks. I don’t enjoy driving. When I was younger, I felt an appeal to it and I used to go for a drive to cool off at times. And an empty road can be a nice way to get away from things. But now? Not so much. The primary concern I have when my friends wanna hang is if I can avoid driving to meet up with them. If I can't, it drastically decreases the likelihood that we see each other. I will gladly leave earlier and spend a little bit longer commuting or waiting around if it means I don’t have to drive. There are limits—if I tried to take public transit to my second school, it would be like 3+ hours? One way? It's impossible!—but that’s where I’m at. I wish we had better public transit. I’m so tired of driving and it’s not going to stop anytime soon. It’s not even midterms. And I’ve already agreed to a second semester. Wish me luck.